January Again

Wow – Does time fly or what? I can’t believe its been a year since I have posted an update. In the spring of 2016 I started a new job, away from a career that I had always known. It has been a welcome change that has reinvigorated my mind in many ways. And more importantly it has been a positive distraction away from the grief of losing my Mom. That is not to say that I am “over” the loss, but simply proof that with grace, I can carry that loss with me and still build a life for myself.

As I think about this second part of my life without my Mom, I am reminded of the struggle involved in letting go. Last summer I purchased a new car …. Normally something very exciting, however I was filled with bittersweet emotions as I realized I was trading in the last car my Mom and I ever rode in together. Although it had been over a year since she passed, the emotional ties didn’t surface until the ink was dry on the new car. I loved the new car, but it didn’t seem like I could experience the same level of joy I had in the past. There would be no more memories made with Mom, no more fun shopping trips, no more runs to Sonic……this was just another tangible sign that life was moving on without her. Maybe that is why we have taken such time in cleaning out her closet…..For some reason those material things are comforting reminders of the life she lived.

The hardest part on this journey has been figuring out how to do “life” without her. As time continues to march on, I continue learning that the eternal lesson of love is that it never dies. Of course, it is sad letting go of things that belonged to her, but the one thing that remains forever is her love for us. Just as our earthly journey together has ended, I consider myself one lucky girl to still be surrounded by such a strong and eternal presence that is my Mother’s Love.

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